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In another time or place, I would have looked in the mirror and thought I looked hot. I had a quick chat with a feminist friend of mine, and she said “ugh, fucking men and porn ruins everything.” And like…I don’t totally disagree with that, but I kind of feel like that’s not the whole story. In fact, often women seem to be more vocally superficial in the first few dates than men do (presumably, because we punish men more for their outbursts of superficiality) but somehow men leave me feeling worse.In a relationship, the fact that you both care deeply about each other is out in the open and felt equally by both parties.This commitment allows you the luxury to relax a bit more when sending texts.There are only so many wink emojis and flirtatious "maybes" that you need to send me in one chat. Look, I'm not saying guys have to be the ones to ask us out all the time, but guys complain about women wanting to be pen pals. But if you're talking to us for days and days and we haven't made a move yet, someone has to and it has got to be you.I'm not a puppy or a baby, so when I ask you a question and you say "maybe ;)" you sound like you're about to pinch my cheeks or throw a ball in a park to see if I'll go get it for you. Putting a photo of him with a child who for all we know might be his kid. Guys are supposed to not care about things like what clothes they wear or whether their new haircut looks good, right? I’ve never met a guy who didn’t care at all whether the person he loved thought he was attractive.So let him know when you see him and just get that tingle.

I remember one guy telling me, after I told him about the assault, that he thought society would be better if men were chemically castrated.This how-to handbook will coach you on the subtle art of sending short and sweet texts, with slight innuendos, to have your crush cruising for more.In this excerpt, authors Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz write about why sexting while in a relationship can make you fall in love all over again.Can't wait for that awkward date wherein you'll also tell me that all women are teases! Writing something about how he wants to see a full body photo to make sure we're not fat. But you're just pretending to be busy so I'll fight for your affection, when all I'm going to do is ignore you and talk to the guy who actually messages me back in a reasonable amount of time.12.So we're not allowed to ask how tall you are because we're trying to avoid you freaking out, but you're allowed to tell us what kinds of photos we post so you can make sure we're thin enough for you? Only replying to our messages every few hours or just once a day. Being ridiculously cutesy and coy with your messages. Glad you guys are close but also, get more friends. Chatting with us forever and ever and ever, and never asking us out.

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