In 2012, 34 percent more women than men graduated from American colleges, and the U. Department of Education expects this gap to reach 47 percent by 2023.The imbalance has spilled over into the post-college dating scene.The self-described “bi-coastal but not in a gay way” guy who didn’t come home one night because he’d passed out in a planter underneath the Manhattan Bridge. “He doesn’t deserve you,” they would say, my own Greek chorus.(We continued to date for at least a month after that.) Their ages have ranged from nearly 15 years younger than me to going on 15 years older. “You’re so much better than him.” Then, inevitably: “Why are New York men such assholes? New York City, to be fair, suffers its share of problems for the female dater.In the Vanity Fair article, David Buss, a University of Texas psychology professor, says that apps like Tinder contribute to “a perceived surplus of women,” among straight men, which in turn leads to more hookups and fewer traditional relationships.Here’s the thing: This surplus of women is not just “perceived” but very, very real.Lauren received 245 messages in that one-week period.While she was surprised to find that she is the most sought-after straight woman, she doesn’t think guys are complicated.
There were drunks and drug addicts and maybe once a teetotaler. There was a clammer from Cape Cod—a real, live clammer, with his very own waders. You’ve probably met more than a few aesthetically, shall we say, “uneven” couples, in which the man is short, pudgy, bald—or distractingly hirsute—with one of those pudding faces only a mother (or gold-digger) could love. And you’ve probably heard, and maybe retold, the modern-day relationship folk tale of that friend of a friend who, after “unsuccessfully” dating in New York for years, met her amazing husband while living or vacationing in Austin, or Boston, or Paris, or Rio, and then brought him back—or moved there herself. It enforces the belief that there is such a thing as a “plight” of the single lady, and that women can’t be blamed for our lack of success in the New York City relationship game. According to statistics collected by Richard Florida, author of The Great Reset and director of the Martin Prosperity Institute at the University of Toronto, single women currently outnumber single men in New York by 149,219. The good news: This number has actually decreased from 2008’s woman-surplus of 210,000, a gap that caused Lysandra Ohrstrom, writing for the Observer, to unleash the ominous decree that “savvy, well-educated women hoping to find a mate and settle down are out of luck.” Meanwhile, our fine city was recently ranked the top spot for single men to find a willing lady to smooch, and whatever else, on New Year’s Eve, according to more numbers from Mr. We were named number one of 2010’s top 29 cities for dudes to live in: a/k/a “paradise for men,” according to gratuitous macho website Ask
NY, as some of us are native Californians and some relocated from NY.
The heated debate about the quality of guys in the two cities led to an interesting experiment proposal: To sign up for an online dating site in both NY & SF with the same exact profile and compare the guys that approached us. From the 12 messages that I received in just 2 days, I noticed a trend between them all. Let me buy you a drink.” The messages were blunt and straight to the point; it was as if all these guys were pressed for time!
Given the shortage of young men in post-World War I Europe — 10 million soldiers died and 20 million were wounded, many grievously — Bernard wonders why any bachelor would want to settle down. Today’s hookup culture does have one big thing in common with the ’20s flapper generation, and that is demographics.
There are too many women and they’re all too easy to make it worthwhile.” I was reminded of this while reading Vanity Fair’s much-publicized piece, “Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse,” which naively blames today’s “hookup culture” on the popularity of a three-year-old dating app.