I can tell you a bit about understanding the active alcoholic but I cannot make it make sense to you because understanding the active alcoholic requires stripping away a lot of rational thought, the acknowledgement and willingness to learn from mistakes, the ability to recognize obvious patterns of behavior, and quite often, the application of common sense. What I am describing here is the person who is still drinking, is high functioning, and has not yet lost the things they hold dear.
The disease of addiction dictates that they will lose these things in time and the rule of threes dictates a grim long term prognosis (jail, institution, and/or death).
I’m the adult daughter of a recovering alcoholic so you’d think I would know better, right? I made it into my mid-20s before I dated a guy with a drinking problem — then I decided to date two in a row. As someone who grew up watching people struggle with substance abuse, I had no fun whatsoever dealing with it in romantic relationships. Problem is, that was the minority of their waking hours! I already knew this because of my family history, but it’s a whole different ballgame when it’s your boyfriend.
I’m not sure what I was thinking — or if I was thinking at all — but at least I learned some pretty valuable lessons from the experience. These guys may seem like the life of the party, but in reality they’re just big fat headaches. Some guys are completely different people when they’re drunk. If someone is an awful drunk and he’s drunk most of the time, you have a huge issue. If he’s not doing anything to help himself, there’s nothing you can do for him. I know you hear me, but you don’t reeeeeeally believe me. Caretakers are naturally attracted to those who they feel need help, and thus the co-dependent relationship is born. There’s a specific pain in knowing that you’ll never beat out his demons, and that he’ll drive the relationship into the ground before he gives up the booze. There’s not a damn thing you can do about his sickness – you can either accept it for what it is, or go find someone else.
For him, romance and recovery can be a highly successful combination—if done right.
A month later, Charlie left his wife and moved into his own place and we were finally able to be together.The man I am refering to was in a long term relationship for 7 yrs. Also, if anyone has been in this same situation or knows of someone who has I would love to hear your story of how is turned out. She is the one who ended the relationship this time. later he meets someone who is a drinker just like him & within 2 mths. I'm curious to hear what other's opinions are on whether this marriage has a prayer or not.We spent the evenings at the bars and went home and spent hours in bed.We barely held on to our jobs, even though he was a freelance editor and had a flexible schedule.